Seven Things I Hate About You
by HeathenVampires
Summary: Ingrid hates Vlad. Hates everything about him. Honestly.


**I laughed for about five minutes when I got this prompt, because I was picturing Ingrid Dracula listening to like, Miley Cyrus? However, I figured I'll give it a go. I'm not taking it seriously, I'm sorry, I can't! But here it is, all the same. Seven things Ingrid hates about Vlad!**

 **Pretty short, because else it would have dragged on for ages!**

-YD-

Ingrid hates Vlad. Hates him with every fibre of her being.

She hates that he's a boy, that their entire race sees him as more important because of the chromosomes he was **born with.** That he got all the better gifts at Christmas, that their father spends hours crowing about how he and Vlad will go hunting when Vlad's a vampire, but when Ingrid points out she'll be transformed before Vlad, their father just says "but you're a girl" as dismissively as if he's saying "you're a breather".

She hates how un-vampiric he is. He wears bright colours. What sort of vampire likes _camping?_ Or gets excited about _sunlight?_ He cringes at the thought of hunting breathers and even animals, skips vampire history lessons and couldn't explain coffin maintenance if his unlife depended on it. He tries out for the rugby team at school, complains vampires can't get suntans and tries to convince their father to convert to soya blood - like **that** would fly.

She hates the way he eats, cutting toast into strips he calls 'soldiers' and starting arguments with their father about blood in meals - arguments that end up with lightning storms and Ingrid getting yelled at for existing - _again._ He sneaks sweets and pizza into the castle (and doesn't share, not that Ingrid wants the breather food obviously) all the time, and _never_ gets in trouble for that even when he got caught in the act.

She hates how messy he is, his abhorrations of bright orange shorts and sky blue jackets littering the castle - It's bad enough he has the best room, can't he use it to contain his nonsensical possessions? Then there's his stupid pet dog, stuffed with sawdust but still able to wheel about the castle and irritate Ingrid - even after she set him on fire. Twice. Vlad's best cape is left in a pile on his floor, the one with the crest marking him as the heir of the Dracula throne - the one Ingrid secretly dreams of being hers.

She hates that he's **the Chosen One.** She's sick of hearing how he's the future of the vampire world. Vlad wouldn't know true vampirism if it bit him on the neck while staking him in the chest. The Vampire High Council bows to this wimpire, and Vlad bumbles and guesses his way to ultimate power just because he was _born_ that way. Born to be something, unlike Ingrid who has worked tirelessly to be something, and while it's worked, she resents that Vlad never had to make the effort.

She hates watching him grow up, transforming from some chubby, uncoordinated idiot to lean, muscular, all sharp angles and dark eyes under artfully tousled hair. He even learns to dress better, suiting leather and dark colours almost - _almost -_ as well as Ingrid herself. His dopey, boyish smile becomes a dark, malicious smirk, growing ever darker when he gets his fangs - they aren't bigger than Ingrid's, which is all she cares about. Honestly.

Most of all, Ingrid hates the way he makes her feel. Vlad can melt her with a look, light her on fire inside by tracing his fingers down her cheek, sliding down her neck towards her chest. Hates how perfectly his mouth fits hers, and the way her body betrays her by shivering at his touch when hands quest beneath her clothes. Hates how Vlad knows every trick to make her whimper desperately, knows the exact way to slide a hand into her hair and kiss her senseless. Hates the reverent way he looks at her when they are naked in her coffin together, and the way he whispers _"I love you"_ in her ear.

Though not nearly as much as she hates the way _"I love you too"_ falls naturally from her mouth in return.

-YD-

 **This might be awful, but I really couldn't take it seriously imagining Ingrid with Hannah Montana posters... And it only took about an hour to write? Still, I had fun and I filled a prompt?**


End file.
